Just Not In This Life

[Verse 1]
I spent my yes on names I can't recall,
Gave every almost everything I had.
Then you arrived, and every borrowed hour
Turned sharp with all the promises I made.

[Pre-Chorus]
I can’t unspend the years behind my eyes;
I can’t untie the vows that keep me still.
You’re standing in the life I should have chosen,
And I’m watching from the wrong side of will.

[Chorus]
If I could live another life, I’d find you,
Before my heart was pledged away in pieces.
I’d meet you with my whole name, whole and open—
Not this half-life counting what it misses.
You’re the love I would have grown into,
The one my every other road ran through.
If I could live another life, I’d find you;
This one lets you go, though I still choose you.

[Verse 2]
Too many hands have held the best of me;
Too many vows still pull against my stride.
You came like truth I knew too late to answer,
And now I watch our almost pass me by.

[Bridge]
Maybe somewhere time began again,
I kept my heart for when your heart came near.
In that life I say your name without a cost;
In this one, loving you means disappear.

[Final Chorus]
If I could live another life, I’d find you,
Before my heart was pledged away in pieces.
I’d meet you with my whole name, whole and open—
Not this half-life counting what it misses.
You’re the love I would have grown into,
The one my every other road ran through.
If I could live another life, I’d find you;
This one lets you go, though I still choose you.