Auditioning for Friends

[Verse 1]
I keep your little checkmark pinned beside my name
Refresh until the numbers tell me I’m okay
I miss the bus, I miss the call, I miss my sister’s meal
Just to watch a stranger tap a heart that isn’t real

[Pre-Chorus]
I trade the thing I meant to say
For what might make you stay

[Chorus]
Tell me I’m enough, tell me again
I spend my whole life auditioning for friends
I bend till every honest edge is gone
Then wonder why I don’t know what I want
Tell me I’m enough, just once, just then—
I’ll be back tomorrow asking you again

[Verse 2]
Your silence turns the hallway into evidence and court
I write three careful versions of a simple little thought
The rent is late, the kettle’s cold, my people stopped by twice
I said “I’m fine” so smoothly I almost believed the lie

[Pre-Chorus]
I make a home inside your praise
And lose my own address

[Chorus]
Tell me I’m enough, tell me again
I spend my whole life auditioning for friends
I bend till every honest edge is gone
Then wonder why I don’t know what I want
Tell me I’m enough, just once, just then—
I’ll be back tomorrow asking you again

[Breakdown]
Take back the key I gave away
I can’t keep living on display
No more measuring my breath
By the room’s approval yet

[Bridge]
If you love me, let me disagree
Let me leave a message unanswered and breathe
I’ll show up late to my own defense
And learn that a boundary isn’t the end

[Final Chorus]
I am enough, even unseen
I’m more than the sum of your changing screen
I’ll keep the parts I nearly erased
And give my own name a little more space
I am enough; I’ll say it again
No more auditioning to be let in

[Outro]
The kettle sings; I call my sister back
The day is mine, and I am coming back