Learning Where I End

[Verse 1]
I keep two portraits folded in my coat
One offers bread, one counts what I am owed
You ask me how I’m doing; I say, “Fine”
While both of them are arguing in my mind

[Pre-Chorus]
The calendar is crowded with the lives I promised to protect
The door I want is open, but I’m scared of what I’d wreck

[Chorus]
I want a life that feels like mine
I want to keep you all beside me
The kinder hand, the grasping hand
Both reach for what I can’t divide
I’m trying to make room for joy
Without becoming someone’s loss
I love you more than I can say
And still I want to choose my own way

[Verse 2]
Your lunchbox waits beside the unpaid bills
A friend calls twice; I know I should call back
I mean to stay, I mean to leave, I mean
To be the one who never lets you crack

[Pre-Chorus]
I’ve made a home of every “yes” I couldn’t take away
Now every “maybe” sounds like someone I might betray

[Chorus]
I want a life that feels like mine
I want to keep you all beside me
The kinder hand, the grasping hand
Both reach for what I can’t divide
I’m trying to make room for joy
Without becoming someone’s loss
I love you more than I can say
And still I want to choose my own way

[Bridge]
If I step back, will you call it leaving?
If I stay, will I forget my name?
I can love you without disappearing
I can change and still be yours the same

[Final Chorus]
I want a life that feels like mine
I want to keep you all beside me
No perfect self will settle this
No clean escape, no flawless plan
I’ll take the next small honest step
And tell you where I truly stand
I love you more than I can say
Let’s find a way that holds us all

[Outro]
Not gone, not gone
Just learning where I end
Still here, still yours
And learning to begin